FF#9 – Finding Fulfillment – You don’t always need the answer
Something I am very guilty of is always wanting and needing an answer to everything. My natural curiosity plays a big part, but logically, everything in this life should have an answer. Why is the sky blue? Why does this person feel that kindness is a weakness? What is my purpose? Why did this happen? What could I have done to prevent it?
I am notorious for probing, dissecting and analyzing EVERYTHING. If an answer didn’t exist, I had to find it myself. If the answer didn’t make sense, I would look for another answer. The constant probing caused a lot of unnecessary stress. I often would overanalyze situations, and at the end of the day, I would feel a strong lack of fulfillment. Not having an answer to everything I encountered made me greatly unhappy.
As of a month or two ago, I finally accepted that there are just things I will never know the answer to; there are things beyond my understanding. When I accepted this, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. By not having the answer, I came to these conclusions:
1. Not having an answer is the God’s way (or the universe’s way for you secular folk) to preserve our sanity. I know there is an explanation to everything, but the explanation can hurt me, annoy me, confuse me, or further my stress. (E.g. dating and guys – some things I wish I didn’t bother trying to figure out)
2. The dealings of life can only make sense if you accept that there are just things beyond your control and beyond your own knowledge. Certain things will occur regardless of what you know and how much you think you can control the situation by having knowledge.
Sometimes, you just have to let life reveal itself to you on its own schedule. If searching for an answer is causing you misery, just know its okay to take a step back and not have an answer. Accept it for what it is and enjoy your sanity.
Interestingly enough…
![hell-yea-it-goes-on-life-quotes-typography-words-Favim.com-38402[1]](http://missheartme.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/hell-yea-it-goes-on-life-quotes-typography-words-Favim.com-384021-300x228.jpg "hell-yea-it-goes-on-life-quotes-typography-words-Favim.com-38402[1]")
Every time I am in a good place in my life… there are always external factors outside of my control that always try to tear me down.
Life – I know the routine, but this time, you’re not going to beat me down. Just sayin’
Goin’ Natural: It’s the only way
So, 2012 has been freaking AAAMMMMAAAAZZZZZZIIINNGGG and I am only 4 months in. I can only wonder what the next 8 months hold.
I really solidified my beliefs, and for the first time, in a very long time, I actually feel comfortable in my own skin, my own thoughts, my own actions… ALL of it. It is a great belief, and I am truly, blissfully happy.
With this awesome badassery that is my life, I started getting this itch it make my outer appearance feel as normal and complete as I do spiritually and mentally. I decided, with much support of my lovely and amazing friends, to go natural with my hair. No more shampoo or conditioner… just Dr. Bonner’s, Apple Cider Vinegar and water for me! And….drum roll please… DREADLOCKS!!!
I will be documenting this journey, and I really hope all of you join me!
Pimpin’ life!
Little one, life is a dirty whore. It’ll try to fuck you, show you a good time, give you something you don’t want, then expect you to pay it, and it’ll be gone before you know it. With that being said, you better pimp life before it just makes you a faceless John. – Coism
Like I’ve said in a previous post, my father was an insightful man in the most interesting of ways. I used to think…what on EARTH are you trying to tell me?
Growing up, I was a little to naive to really understand what he meant by any of this, but now, it makes sense.
How many of us live life in the passenger seat? We just go through the motions, and we let the motions and actions define us. Take charge of your life the way you want to live it. Don’t just sit by and let the mediocre and mundane moments become your life. Live it to the fullest, take chances, get out of your comfort zone… make time to live life the way YOU want to. There are no real obstacles. Just DO IT.
Sub-atomic particles and atoms
![atomic_structure[1]](http://missheartme.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/atomic_structure1-300x205.gif "atomic_structure[1]")
I am like neutrally charged neuron that needs that positive charge of a proton to be a complete nucleus. There are negatively charged electrons that circle me, attracted to my energy, but they will never be attached to me or be too close to me or my protons. Sometimes, I have to lose a proton or two to get rid of some of the electrons circling me. Sometimes, I’ll lose a proton, not by choice, but external factors that I cannot control. At the end of the day, my life is the complete atom, filled with a lot of potential energy. It can be unstable and unpredictable. It can be stagnant and boring. It is what it is at that very moment in time.
Finding Fulfillment #8 – Find fulfillment through acts of kindness
Happy Thursday everyone!
It is a beautiful day in Southern California today. The sun is beaming, the birds are singing, and I am here dancing in my seat at work. Today is GREAT day.
We’ve all heard the saying, “It is better to give than to receive.” Unfortunately, giving kindness is often left to people we know or who we feel DESERVE our kindness. People only feel the benefits when they extend kindness to certain people.
Me on the other hand, I live and breathe kindness. Kindness is deeply planted in my soul, and I have always extended kindness to everyone, including those who some would say didn’t deserve it. I will extend kindness to people who’ve hurt me, to people who wouldn’t appreciate my kindness, and to people who have been forgotten by everyone else. I don’t expect anything in return, and for every simple kind act I do, makes me smile just a little bit brighter for the day.
But why extend such kindness?
matthewinohio: Laidback Luke I can’t wait to see him this weekend!
matthewinohio: Laidback Luke I can’t wait to see him this weekend!
Sorry Forrest, but life is like a box of crayons…
Every color has a meaning, and the box won’t be complete with every color. Every color represents a feeling or a point in time.
Some colors only get used once and they are ignored for the rest of their lives… much like bad dates or bad food. Some colors never get used at all, maybe out of fear or dislike. There are the crayons that get used all the time… some so much that you have to buy a new box to replace that one color because you NEED to use that color again, like love that is everlasting or a memory that makes you smile… Then there are colors you use all the time, then one day just get tired of because you are tired of that color – like a relationship gone bad or bad memories that you no longer wish to experience. Finally (and most importantly), then there is the amazing ability to mix all these experiences and memories to create a wonderful picture that is life. Every color, or lack there of, has its place.
This is probably the most brilliant piece of wisdom my father ever gave me. At this point in my life, I am very thankful that I’ve had the ability to experience every color life has been so gracious to offer me. I’ve watched people I love die, be born, get married, break up – have my heart truly heartbroken, having my head cracked open, laughed until I nearly peed my pants, grew apart in a relationship, bonded even closer in others… all of it, I’d never take back. Each experience has made its marking in my life drawing.
I’ve grown exponentially as a person spiritually and emotionally. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to forgive and let go. As angry, hurt and sad as I can feel sometimes, I remember that those feelings are temporary – those colors just need to be put away. Life is much too short to hold grudges or be so concerned about people that do not and will not take the time to appreciate and love you. There is so much more beauty to life than what clothing size you wear or what you look like. Most importantly, there is always room to love – regardless of the circumstance.
Starting today, take the time to make your life a colorful story. Remember, every moment has it’s place, just like every color in a crayon box.
Don’t give up….
I found something I wrote nearly two years ago, and it still holds true. It’s crazy that even after all this time, I still go in these cycles… and I always have to remind myself, it gets better. All the crap I deal with is temporary, and I have to remind myself, there is a rhyme and reason to go through all of it. Enjoy:
FF#7 – Choose wisely
My father was a small-framed man that was intense, vulgar and often insightful all at the same time. He was a man of many words, and each set of words had purpose. You couldn’t just leave a room without reanalyzing every word that he said.
I remember watching him play chess with his friends at a local café, and every single time his opponent thought he got ‘mate,’ my dad would say,
“Choose wisely, mother f*cker. It may just be your last.”